It is difficult enough to start a life with a new spouse, but when children are involved, the situation can put a lot of strain on an already nerve-wracking situation. Many questions are probably racing through your mind.

Will his kids like me? Will they listen to me or will they start trouble to rebel. And where do you draw the line? You are not their parent and the children will take every opportunity to remind you of that fact. Being a step parent doesn’t have to be a lost cause.

Learning about the kids:

Making a relationship takes time. It’s not any different than a romantic union. The bond cannot be sealed overnight. There are things you can do to help the process along. Children are people, too. They are coming into this situation with their own fears and frustrations. If they lost their mother to an accident or disease, they are most certainly still grieving the loss. Even if they like you as a person, they probably feel guilty allowing you to take their mother’s place.

If there mother is still living, the divorce may have been a difficult split for the entire family. An amicable divorce is a term used by movie stars to keep the gossip out of the papers, but the reality is that divorce makes everyone hurt and angry. The children are always caught in the middle and are forced to take sides. You may catch the blame even if you had nothing to do with the split.

Allow this kids time to adjust. It won’t work in your favor to walk in like you own them. That plan is doomed to fail. Give them some time to adjust and listen to their ideas when they want to talk. Let them have a say in the new living quarters, in the meals and how you spend time together as a family. When they need alone time, let them have it. This isn’t you backing down. It is, however, the best way to control a situation. If you push the children, they will push back, and it will turn into war.

When You’re Not a Parent, But Trying to Discipline:

There will come times when you have to step up and take control. An example would be if the ten year old boy wanted to roller skate off the roof to imitate a stunt. If you are the only adult in the house, it is your responsibility to take charge and put the nice step mommy in the draw. Even a genius adult will not be able to handle every situation. Be responsible and use common sense. A happy family will eventually come from this group of strangers.

Find the unique Giants gifts every fan will love.