Parents of ill-behaved children can be left humiliated and in difficult situations when their child starts displaying this behavior out in public.
Small children are by nature very self centred. They have not acquired the sense of self awareness that the majority of grownups naturally possess manifesting in tantrums, selfish behavior and bossiness.
Bossiness in a small child can also be caused by the feeling of domination that it can give them in a world in which adults have all the control. It is a way for them to snatch a bit of that control back. They are not always deciding to apply their authority over others, so please do not blame them. On the up-side, there are some things that you can try that might help in reigning your childs bossiness in a little.
Tips For Bringing Your Toddlers Bossiness Under Control
Imitation
Kids have a very “monkey see, monkey do” approach to life, so the very first thing you can try to alter their behavior is to modify yours first. This might mean winding your own bossiness back a little bit. So when you are around your children, try employing the sort of behavior that you are trying to get them to emulate. Even when you aren’t talking with them, they will still notice the manner in which you act and ask people to do things.
Even if it is in YOUR nature to be like this, try to recognize the fact and when you are around your kids try reworking your own conduct lest your children see a more well mannered side of you.
Social Skills
Teaching children to be kind from a very early age is a social skill that will stay with them and deliver benefits all throughout their life time. If they start being selfish, or bossy towards people try asking them how they would feel if someone did the same to them. Getting them to take into account how their behavior affects others is a key milestone in their development.
Give Control
Bossiness is a form of control, so if you child perceives that they don’t have it, they will attempt and take it. But what if you granted them some control? By asking your child whether they would like potatoes or peas with their fish fingers, or whether they want to watch some TV or play with their barbie dolls for a while you are putting some control back in their hands.
Make sure you don’t leave the questions open ended though. Make sure you restrict the possible outcomes to only two. This or that.. This provides them with a sense of control and they will feel like they have had a say in the outcome of their day thus resulting in less of a need to take control from other people in the form of bossy behavior later on.
Attention
Quite often, a child’s bossy or bad behavior is no more than a plea for attention, so take a sincere look at how much time you spend with them every day. A youngster knows everything they know from their moms and dads in the early years, so really think hard about if you are devoting ample time with them before you tell them off for yanking at your arm to go and play whilst you are stood chit chatting with buddies.
Gary Stelling has written for a number of web sites on the topic of child behaviour. For more information about getting your own 3 year old to behave, please visit this site or alternatively take a look at this page here about other behavior problems.