Why We Keep Creating The Same Relationship


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Do you find yourself faced with the same relationship problems and issues with each new relationship? Wondering why this happens? Could it be you keep attracting the same type of people? When you choose to keep getting romantically involved with the same type of person, you should expect the same outcome over and over again.

Having done research on this issue of repeatedly attracting the same personality type over and over, I have found several underlying reasons we create the situation. One reason is directly related to the laws of attraction. Whatever signals you send out is exactly what you will receive. You might be thinking, I want a romantic partner who treats me with respect and will love me as much as I love them. However, the signals we send out through our conduct, body language and attitude is, I am insecure and I do not really deserve your respect. In fact, if someone just loves me a little bit, that is all I should expect. Your signal may be that you may have low self esteem. You can talk all you want about how you deserve better than you have had in the past. But if you continue to act with low expectations and accept sub-par treatment by others, then, you WILL continue attract the same kind of person who doesn’t show you respect.

A common mistake for those with low expectations and poor self-esteem is latching on to the first man or woman who expresses interest. Insecurity tends to make us want to avoid loneliness at all costs. Insecurity can make us feel it we HAVE to have some sort of romantic partner, even if that partner does not treat us very well. It is better than having no romantic partner (which would confirm our worst fear: No one really wants us).

You may get jealous or envious of those men or women who seem to attract more than their fair share of romantic partners. Rather than get jealous, consider that they are doing the REVERSE of everything mentioned above. These overly lovable people create signals that they are worth being loved; they have high expectations; they will not tolerated being treated poorly; and they have no need to select a permanent romantic partner right away. They can be alone, if necessary, and wait for the best possible partner to prove themselves. You, too, have every right to use the same laws of attraction to draw to you quality people. The question is: What stops you from doing so?

This brings us to another important reason we keep attracting the same kind of people to us over and over. The reason is that we want what we had in the past. Almost everyone prefers the comfort of the ‘known’. We prefer what we are use to. In a negative sense, if you father was an alcoholic and he abused you and your mother, if that is all you have know, then it will often be what we want to recreate. It is what we know. We likely even convince ourselves that this is what we want because we are comfortable with it. Now, reverse this to the positive: When a person has a loving protective father and mother, a great family environment, then it becomes easy to see how this person can effortlessly create positive, loving relationships. It is what they know. It is what they want and expect. This is a complicated issue, but you get the general idea. We tend to stay with what we know because the unknown can be a bit scary. So we keep attracting the same type of people so we can create the same type of relationship.

It is no easy task to look carefully at our ‘self’. It is not impossible, however. Once we are honest with ourselves then we can begin the life long journey to becoming the best person we possibly can be. And, is so doing, we start to attract people who are also interested in you because you are a good person. Believe it or not, you have every right to be happy. You have every right to a romantic relationship of mutual respect. Bottom line: You only have to decide to be the person who attracts such things. And, when it comes your way, just accept it as the way things are suppose to be.

If you want help with a relationship or have questions about dating or marriage, give me a call! You will find my phone number below. I would love to talk with you.

Relationship Consultant Dawn Ackermann is ready to answer all your questions about love, relationships and be your personal relationship consultant. You can reach her through Love Coach Line at 1-800-639-3396. All you need to do is call. Our support staff is ready to assist you 24/7.

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